is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
