So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
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We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
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I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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