Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
