I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
