the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize