I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
