was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
