Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
