She went from zero to smokin in five shots
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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