Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
