This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize