can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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