There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
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I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
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I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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