Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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