giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Pants are for mortals
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize