Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
