she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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