Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize