Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
