Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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