once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
