He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?