she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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