How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
