Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
love makes seman taste better
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
