grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
