thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize