I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just puked most of my soul out..
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