he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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