He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize