its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
