I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize