at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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