we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I supernannyed him into submission
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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