i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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