yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
