no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize