I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
