i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
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