I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
