i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
whose parrot is this?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize