At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
