Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
