69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
