Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
