this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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