I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned