Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
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Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
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They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.