didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..