windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.