Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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