sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
