why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
