How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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