I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
