There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just forgot I was standing up.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize