Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
