Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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