i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
